Looking at my blog, I am saddened that it has been over a month since my last post - sigh. But it is with (what I hope will be considered) a good explanation, that you all will forgive me.
I've gone back and forth with how to approach the subject of my whereabouts for the past month, and at this point I figure it would be best to just put it out there or rip the band-aid off if you will.
On September 25th, 2010 I had a miscarriage.
We found out that we were expecting our first child at the end of June, it was wonderful news and we were very excited. The following month went smoothly and my pregnancy seemed to be progressing well, until September 23rd when I noticed that everything wasn't quite so right anymore (trying to not get into too much detail here). We already had our first ultrasound scheduled for that afternoon, so there really wasn't anything that I could do at that point besides try to make it through the rest of the work day.
At our ultrasound, which should have been a happy and joyous event, my worst fears were confirmed - the ultrasound tech told us that the baby had stopped developing almost a week before. Since things had already started happening on their own, we decided to go home and let nature take its course. Again, without getting into too much detail... it was the worst, most painful (physically and emotionally), horrifying experience of my life and I have never felt so incredibly alone. Within a matter of hours and then days, our world had been turned upside down and something that we had been so excited about was suddenly gone and ripped from our life.
The purpose of this post is not to scare anyone or gain pitty from the internet community - I honestly believe that there is a societal stigma against miscarriage and pregnancy loss, heaven forbid we talk openly about such a personal and private thing. The purpose of this post is to raise awareness and let women know that they are not alone. Since having gone through this myself, I have discovered a world of amazingly strong, supportive, and courageous women - who welcomed me, comforted me, and supported me with open arms... no questions asked.
I've also discovered some amazing resources:
October 15th is National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Remembrance Day and considering my my own loss occurred so close to this date, I really felt the need to share my experience and amazing cause with you all here.
It's taken some time, but we are in a better place both physically and emotionally now. We are looking to the future and all of the possibilities, with hopes that someday we will be blessed with the child that we were meant to have, raise and love... someday, someday soon *fingers crossed*