Monday, October 11, 2010


Looking at my blog, I am saddened that it has been over a month since my last post - sigh. But it is with (what I hope will be considered) a good explanation, that you all will forgive me.

I've gone back and forth with how to approach the subject of my whereabouts for the past month, and at this point I figure it would be best to just put it out there or rip the band-aid off if you will.

On September 25th, 2010 I had a miscarriage.

We found out that we were expecting our first child at the end of June, it was wonderful news and we were very excited. The following month went smoothly and my pregnancy seemed to be progressing well, until September 23rd when I noticed that everything wasn't quite so right anymore (trying to not get into too much detail here). We already had our first ultrasound scheduled for that afternoon, so there really wasn't anything that I could do at that point besides try to make it through the rest of the work day.

At our ultrasound, which should have been a happy and joyous event, my worst fears were confirmed - the ultrasound tech told us that the baby had stopped developing almost a week before. Since things had already started happening on their own, we decided to go home and let nature take its course. Again, without getting into too much detail... it was the worst, most painful (physically and emotionally), horrifying experience of my life and I have never felt so incredibly alone. Within a matter of hours and then days, our world had been turned upside down and something that we had been so excited about was suddenly gone and ripped from our life.

The purpose of this post is not to scare anyone or gain pitty from the internet community - I honestly believe that there is a societal stigma against miscarriage and pregnancy loss, heaven forbid we talk openly about such a personal and private thing. The purpose of this post is to raise awareness and let women know that they are not alone. Since having gone through this myself, I have discovered a world of amazingly strong, supportive, and courageous women - who welcomed me, comforted me, and supported me with open arms... no questions asked.

I've also discovered some amazing resources:

October 15th is National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Remembrance Day and considering my my own loss occurred so close to this date, I really felt the need to share my experience and amazing cause with you all here.

It's taken some time, but we are in a better place both physically and emotionally now. We are looking to the future and all of the possibilities, with hopes that someday we will be blessed with the child that we were meant to have, raise and love... someday, someday soon *fingers crossed*


Becky said...

Oh my gosh!!!! Major hugs to you and your DH. That must have been awful but I hope you do know that everything *does* happen for a reason, even if we do not understand the what's or why's yet. Glad that you are on the mend...

Girl of The Grove said...

Thank you for posting such a personal experience, and I'm glad you realized that you are not alone. Take care.

misc.alaina said...

I am very sorry to hear about your experience. Glad that you have found resources that have helped. Praying for your continued strength through your healing process.

Jessica said...

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Having been through it before, I know how gut wrenching it is to endure physically and emotionally. I don't know if that was your first pregnancy, but just to give you a bit of hope, I had a successful pregnancy after miscarriage and now have an awesome almost 3 year old son. Healing from the experience needs to be on your own terms but I'm glad to hear you feel you are in a better place now.

Katrina said...

Thank you all so much for your comments, support, thoughts and prayers ladies. It means so much to us.

Jessica - thank you so much for sharing your story, it really does give me hope for the future and I appreciate your coming forward.

Dakotah said...

You don't know me, but I wanted you to know that I read this- I'm a TTCAL'er, and I've been there. Sorry that you know what a horrible experience it is. I wish that you didn't have to go through this.